


Apparently (John x Bulimic! Reader

by AlexSpring



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-23
Updated: 2014-12-23
Packaged: 2018-03-02 23:30:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2829983
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlexSpring/pseuds/AlexSpring
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Why won't the one boy in your eyes notice you? Because you were never model thin? Was that why no one ever noticed you?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Apparently (John x Bulimic! Reader

Apparently (John x Bulimic! Reader)

  
  
_I keep my head high, I got my wings to carry me,_  
  
You cry as you remember your best friend, who ultimately left you in the end, like everybody else. You remember his stupid, adorable, geeky smile. His square rimmed glasses. His blue eyes. Bright blue. They were so beautiful.  
  
 _I got my wings to carry me,_  
  
You've always wanted to hold his hand. You've always wanted to be the apple of his eye. But never, could you. You could see it in the people John surrounded himself with. They were all perfect. Model thin. Even those troll kids looked better than you. God, why were you so... so...  
  
 _I don't know freedom,_   
  
You feel abandoned. You can't recall all the nights that you prayed that maybe on day that John would love you more than just friends. Never. He was always so caught up with those Rose or Vriska girls. You couldn't see anything in them. Nothing.  
  
  
 _I want my dreams to rescue me,_  
  
You just stopped altogether. The praying. The hoping. Everything. It was all useless. John would never love you.  
  
 _I keep my faith strong,_  
  
You look over at your phone as you clean up your "mess". It is from John.  
"hey, do you want to hang out? i want to ask you something," it reads. You delete it. You stand up and look at yourself in the mirror. Your (h/c) is dull and uneven. You aunt said that you needed a haircut, but you would never comply to it. You didn't want to listen to her.  
Your ribs are visible from your sides, as well as your hip bones. You have been doing this for at least three years. You don't know anymore. You are just tired. You want to lay down and sleep for a long time.  
  
You phone buzzes again. "(f/n), are you okay?" Again, you delete it. You look at the mirror again to your sunken and miserable face. You sigh.   
  
_I ask the Lord to follow me,_  
  
You open your medicine cabinet and shuffle through the many bottles of pills that you have inside. You go to the back and pull the smallest one out and pop it.   
  
Your phone buzzes once more. "(f/n), can i come over? i'm worried... actually, i'm already almost there... sorry! : B" You shrug and delete it again. You turn on the faucet and cup your left hand under the flow of water. You throw a pill into your mouth and swallow it with the water in your hand. You look down at the bottle. You feel tears prickle at the corners of your eyes.  
  
 _I've been unfaithful,_  
  
You dump out the remainder of the pills into your hand as you hear your front door open and close. You tighten your hand around the pills.  
  
"(f/n)? Where are you? I'm sorry for coming over so late," you hear John's voice. You fall against the door.  
  
"(f/n), are you in here?" You feel the door open slightly as John looks in. He looks down at you. A look of shock runs across his face as he sees you in nothing but a tank top and shorts. He can see the scars and open cuts on your wrists and thighs as well as the pills that are now scattered around you. You fall to meet his eyes.  
  
"(f/n)?" you hear his voice. You hold yourself. John squeezes in through the door and crouches in front of you. You feel him put his hand on your knee. You look up at his bright blue eyes. A look in hurt is in them. Neither of you spoke.  
  
 _I don't know why you call on me,_  
  
John holds you in his embrace, and you cry into his neck. You feel so fragile and broken in his healthy, strong arms. You cry. You are happy that you can spend at least one moment with the boy you love.  
  
"(f/n), I love you, so much, I came here for you," John whispers. You nod and hug him back harder. You whisper to John, "I love you, too,"


End file.
